I haven’t been able to get the idea of Light out of my head for the past few days, in moments of extreme joy and in the face of immense heartbreak.
I’ve been thinking about the concept of Light, and how my faith looks more like a candle than a bonfire right now.
Slow, but moving.
Quick to extinguish, but quick to ignite.
Flickering, but steady.
Illuminating, but not overwhelming.
I love Light.
I want the Light.
But I’ve painfully learned that for Light to break through, there has to be something for it to break into, something like darkness.
I don’t love the dark so much.
But, I am learning to.
I think it’s more and/both when it comes to light and darkness, rather than either/or.
Because when a candle is lit, a shadow is also cast.
And because every time I see darkness rise up, I see a bit of Light break through too.
Light can do with a tiny crevice what darkness cannot accomplish with a mile.
Light is the most beautiful thing I know.
It creates and it refines.
It prays and it hopes.
I want to live in the Light.
I want to live with the Light.
But, I’m not sure that Light exists without the complement of darkness.
We aren’t meant to live in the dark, but we aren’t meant to fear it either.
Darkness is a part of life here on Earth.
Every day, and every second of every day, we have a choice.
We decide whether are not we are going to choose Light.
We don’t have to choose it.
Light isn’t always the most easy or rational choice.
I choose darkness a thousand times a day.
Sometimes it seems like the choice is being made for me, and darkness is the reality.
But, there is always that crevice, however small.
Today I choose to see Light instead.
I can choose that Light because I know the darkness.
I’ve strapped on its shoes and walked through its corridors.
We don’t get to experience the Light until we are brave enough to explore the darkness.
Be brave. But most of all, be kind to yourself.
And sit in the darkness if you need.
There is only grace and love here.
Embrace the Light.
Even in the midst of the darkness.
The Light is here.
And to be honest, yesterday I chose darkness. I thought I saw darkness win. I could hardly remember that Light still existed.
But today. Today I am remembering.
I am remembering that Jesus defeated darkness and that the grave did not win.
Today I am choosing Light.