“Heart and Soul… I fell in love with You… Heart and Soul…”

Have you ever poured your heart into something at such a huge extent that it literally EXHAUSTED you physically? Have you ever prayed for something SO hard you started sweating? Or wanted something SO bad you started bawling?? When mental thoughts become physical effects…
I call this heart and soul… Pouring your WHOLE heart and soul into something.

Now, this “something” could easily be bad or maybe not bad, but greedy. Maybe you’re like me and you’ve poured your heart into a new phone or a new camera or whatever’s on your Christmas list… And when you get it, it becomes your idol. It helps you worship something else besides God. I call THAT satan.

But have you ever yearned for something so much, not a material thing but something much bigger… Maybe you’ve yearned for a cancer of some sort to be gone or to have a best friend or for your grandparents to get well or maybe you’ve even yearned to just start FEELING something ANYTHING, anything besides numbness. Numbness= NOT pouring your heart and soul out… Not even feeling a heart or soul.
I’ve been there, I’ve asked God to help me feel something whether it’s pain or joy, but SOMETHING besides just numbness. I tend to constantly feel like i’m just going through the motions. Going to church, going to school, praying I’ll pass a test here and there, laughing a little at things that don’t seem very funny, staying up late thinking of nothing, sleep walking through your day… Etc. Numbness.

But today was different for me and I didn’t even realize that I poured my heart into my whole day. That’s how I know it wasn’t fake heart and soul. Because it wasn’t even MY heart or soul. It was God’s.

Today was just plain fun but also exhausting because I DID pour my all into it. Woke up excited to start my day because I knew I got to go to the Wiggin’s house after school, shot one of my best friends a text letting her know I’m praying for her, went to my orthodontist appointment and joked around with Dr. Carlton telling him I love coming to see him and made his morning joyful, got to school and laughed and laughed with Jaci and Carson and some other trainers, had the perfect lunch sitting with my best friends, totally poured my whole heart into my math test and had FUN taking the test!!(and you gotta understand I HATE math) rocked the punnet sqaure lesson in biology, and oh my goodness wrote THE BEST essay you will ever read in English. Seriously. My essay explaining how Laura Hillenbrand utilized diction, figurative language, and rhetorical appeals in her article to convey that a Throroughbred racehorse must posess both danger and delicateness in a race was the BOMB. I mean doesn’t that sound like the bomb?? 😉
But seriously I poured my WHOLE heart and soul into that silly little essay. By the end I was shaking, sweating and breathing super fast. I could have started bawling right then and there if you would have asked me to. For 30 minutes of my life that essay was like birthing my baby.
And believe me, I KNOW I sound ridiculous. But I think this is so important to me because up until today I had been on a road of that numbness I was talking about earlier. And believe me it is exhausting to pour your heart into something but it feels SO good afterward. It gives you a strength that only God can replinish. ONLY God. The ONLY way to pour your heart and soul into something is to follow God’s example and borrow His heart. His heart is YOURS! I am so glad that God always FULLY pours His heart into every prayer He answers. What if He didn’t. What if He was too tired to heal that person, or too busy to save that guy… He wouldn’t be God, would He? Nope! GOD IS CONSTANT. UNCHANGABLE. He will always pour His FULL HEART into our every cry. And since God lives in us and we are a part of His heart, we can also pour our souls into whatever we are doing. Whether it’s a math test or a prayer over someone in the hospital, God invites us to borrow His heart and use it for HIS glory. I would venture to say that you don’t feel completely satisfied when your pour your soul into something materialistic because you are using your heart for the glory of men, not God. And only when we give Him ALL the glory can we borrow His heart that is being offered to us RIGHT NOW.
And I wish this was always as easy as it sounds right now. Yes, God holds his love out to us ready for us to wrap ourselves in His heart but this little guy you might know as satan always tends to get in the way. But our God is so much BIGGER than the devil. Don’t even give satan a second glance. He doesn’t deserve your heart and you definently don’t want to share his heart with others!! Satan has NO power over us. NONE. say that outloud. I’m not sure if satan can read this on your computer screen so go ahead and tear him apart OUT LOUD!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. My God is so big so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot do for YOU!

So try pouring out GOD’S heart and soul in EVERYTHING you do tomorrow. From walking to your car in the parking lot to filing papers to checking your email to smiling and praying over that guy in that car that’s gonna cut you off tomorrow. And let me know how it goes! I’ll try it too!
God is so fun!! 🙂



2 thoughts on ““Heart and Soul… I fell in love with You… Heart and Soul…”

  1. Oh, my precious Carlee, how I needed this one!!! You offer such wisdom in this one. Around the holidays I always begin to feel a heaviness in my heart because we will not have your precious Mother to share her beautiful face and her beautiful ways with us. But through your writing I have begun to realize we do still have her–so much of who she was is in you!!! Your love for God and His ways, your growing security in the Lord as the center of your being and your willing transparency to pour out your heart for others. God is so good, dear one, and with the wisdom you are developing in Him, He will use you to bless many lives. Blessings, mimi



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